now i can understand why tt monster wans to send mi away... cos she dun wan us to quarrel anymore... as for my dad... i still duno y... maybe bcos i said i like it there in US last yr... n he took tt for real... well, its still true la tt i wan to go back there to stay... but i dun wan to leave w/o sam... even if it is parting with him every weekend as he returns back to camp... i am alr so relunctant to let him go... now i cant imagine wad will my days be like when he's not around mi for 2 yrs? 3yrs? i duno... like wad wormy say... if i were to go there... it will be never coming back... like wad all my cousins did...
when i told darl abt the plan... he was devastated... sigh... i knew exactly how he feel... it wasnt easy for him to hear this... even for mi... altho it is not even confirmed yet... still, to think back of those days when we were apart... living each day far away from one another... is rather torturing...
even when ur having a great time, some time oneday... u wud wish tt he's right there with u too.. yeap...
we "talk" abit it in a subtle way... but it jus bring the both of us to tears... it wun be easy for us to handle it n it will never be...
all i wan to say is... cherish ur love one...
i wan to go there to study but not alone this time... cos i noe i'm not alone anymore... he's part of my life now... i dun wan him to wait for me again like the last time... i dun wan to be so selfish again... if it is some decision... i wan us to make it together... =) tts how u use 2 hands to make a clap...
my little happiness in life is seeing him everytime when he's out... sometimes he can be very tired or sick... but he never sulk his face at mi... or throw any tantrums or give excuses like many guys did... wadever word he gave mi... he really did wad he say... sometimes i feel tt i'm the one letting him down instead... there are times where i shudnt hv joke abt stuff tt might make him upset.. like i told him tt there's a new bf... he really tot there really was one... i'm so sorry... i really didnt mean it... i was trying to hide smthg... or rather to divert his attention to smthg else cos he was probing mi at tt time... instead it gave him the wrong idea... sigh, i shud hv said smthg else...
alrighty... its past my bedtime... monster is gng to screw mi if she finds out i'm still awake... if not the 1st thing she is gng to do is chop mi into pieces...
# posted by
mdm |
1/30/2007 12:30:00 AM